Sofia from Sofia - the Marbella-based influencer of good manners

A beautiful, slender woman with an exquisite appearance shows how to wear a lady's coat with finesse, or the correct etiquette for sitting at a table for two in a restaurant.

These video tutorials, presented with a smile and a gentle tone, can be found on the social media account of a lady with millions of followers called Sofia Marbella. Even if you've come across her videos, you would not have guessed that Sofia is actually Bulgarian, born and raised in Sofia. She has been living in Spain with her family for the past twenty-eight years, and now she talks to Radio Bulgaria about life's unknown paths, good manners and the patience to wait for the right moment.

Sofia Ilieva is a child of Communism, born in the mid-1970s, when life was very different from now. "We were lucky then," she notes, "that good manners and respect were at a much higher level than today.

As a child she dreamed of becoming either a diplomat, hence her keen interest in protocol and etiquette, or a professional figure skater. She started skating as a schoolgirl in 1982. "It was love at first sight," she recalls. But despite a great love of skating and a degree in figure skating and sports medicine from the National Sports Academy, she never managed to become a professional athlete. In the mid-1990s, Bulgaria was a free and democratic country, and many of Sofia's friends and acquaintances had moved abroad. One of them offered her a job as a figure skating coach in Spain.

"When I graduated from the National Sports Academy, I decided to give it a try. It was very difficult to get a visa at that time and my first visa was refused. I said to myself - that's it, there's no way out. But I applied again and this time I got a visa. In 1996 I first went to Palma de Mallorca to see my friend and his family, then to Madrid, where I had to wait a while before I could start working as a trainer, and so I decided in the meantime to visit my other friends in Marbella for a holiday," the Bulgarian recalls.

That short break in the sunny Spanish city marked the beginning of a new life for Sofia.

"I became involved with a guy in Marbella and decided to stay a little longer. In the meantime, I started working as a model and that's how I came across a job advert on local TV for a show called 'Oscar Horacio's Hour' (La hora de Oscar Horacio). They took me on and I started helping Horacio, as an assistant. And so I spent three years in television".

The dawn of the new century brought with it the new communication possibilities of the Internet. Gradually, Sophia returned to her childhood passion and attraction for good manners. She began to follow and watch various online courses on the subject, mostly from the USA. One day Sofia said to herself: "I'm going to open a school of good manners here in Spain".

"Because if you have good manners, if you know how to communicate with people, if you know how to listen rather than talk, if you can make people feel good around you, then success is very easy. It's not just about table manners, it's about building your whole personality."

At the end of 2000, with the help of like-minded people, she opened her first school of business protocol and etiquette in Spanish in Marbella. She admits that even there, many people did not know exactly what etiquette and good manners meant. As her career took off, Sofia met her future Italian husband. Now she had to put some of the theory she had taught into practice.

Namely, that you can't succeed at anything unless you give 100%. To this day, the Bulgarian believes, based on experience and meeting so many different people, that you cannot have both a successful business and a successful family. You have to choose one or the other. After the birth of her first child, Sofia made her choice - to devote herself to her family. At least for the time being. She continued to read, believing that if her work as a trainer was her calling, it would 'find' her again in due course. And so it did. Almost three years ago, she decided it was time to return.

"A friend of mine encouraged me to try social media first. One night I uploaded a video on TikTok about how to hold a handbag properly. I didn't even know how the platform worked. And in the morning my daughter came and said, "Mom, have you seen your TikTok? You got 500,000 views on that video!"

And that is how Sofia Ilieva's story in the digital world began. With the help of her children, she developed her account and started uploading a video every few days. Within months, she had amassed millions of followers and decided to start working again.

"But when I read the comments under the videos, I noticed that there were some misunderstandings. Especially from the younger generation who use social networks. I felt there was a gap - they don't have the basic knowledge and education about manners and etiquette from home, but they have a subconscious hunger for it. I saw that people really need that kind of knowledge."

The content Sofia creates is in English because, she says, 80% of her social media followers are English speakers. She runs various one-to-one and group courses and workshops around the world.

Bulgaria is a constant presence in Sofia Ilieva's daily life, but she has only visited her home country a few times in these almost thirty years. "I missed the country very much, especially in the early years, but I always knew that there were many things I wanted to see and learn 'out there'," she says. After she got married, she came for a whole summer with her young children and her husband, who was fascinated by Bulgaria, the cuisine, the people and immediately suggested they stay and live in the country.

"He fell in love with Bulgaria, he loved it! It was natural for him, an Italian, to adapt to our mentality. I showed him all of Bulgaria, very proud to be Bulgarian, and I really appreciated how beautiful our country is. Many things need to change, like everywhere in the world, but our country is wonderful," says Sofia, addressing all parents in today's cosmopolitan world.

More friendly and smiling people - this is what Sofia wants to see on the streets of her hometown. "It is high time we learned to enjoy and support the achievements of others," says Sofia from Marbella. And she continues her mission - with good manners and a smile, to be an ambassador for Bulgaria, like every one of our compatriots around the world.

Photos: Sofia Ilieva

Translated and posted by Elizabeth Radkova

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Sofia from Sofia - the Marbella-based influencer of good manners

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